Monday, 21 December 2009

A Pause In Advent....All You Need Is Love ♥

Well I would be lying if I said I have had a glorious few days filled with baking, making, and all things fun. I don't know what it is about Christmas and my marriage, but it always takes a turn for the worse at Christmas time, at one point I thought I would be spending Christmas alone and on a mountain away from it all. Then I realised if I didn't have love in my life, I wouldn't really have much of a life. I get bucket loads of the magical stuff from my children, though there is something extra nice about getting a different kind of love from that someone special in your life. The thought that I may no longer share in that love made me realise that our marriage is worth it, strong enough, I hope, to get through these little wobbles and come out the other side which thankfully we have :)

So my pause in advent is all about love, real toe curling, goosebumping, hairstanding on end love. How lucky I feel I am to have this love in my marriage. My marriage is not perfect, maybe yours is, but through talking with lady pals of mine, seems we all go through the mill occasionally and 9 times out of 10 we all seem to get through these ropey roads and sometimes feel our marriages are stronger for it. Occasionally friends of mine don't get through it and they come to the end of their marital journey for one reason or another and go their separate ways. Sometimes this is indeed the best journey to take for everyone involved, and is truly one I really hope I shall never have to go on.

So it is with a very happy smile that although not much prettiness has been going on around here, sometimes the RL stuff is far more important than what I have made, what I have bought, what I have baked. Deep down I would have loved to have had the time and energy to have baked my own Christmas cake and mince pies, handmake all my chistmas gifts, make my own advent calender, etc but I live in the real world, my real world and sometimes I can't keep up with the Christmas domestic goddessy that goes on ;) Though I do do my best. I very much enjoyed the Grumpy Women Christmas programme and giggled my way through as so many of what the ladies chatted about I could so relate to.

My pause in advent is also to spread a little love, love to those of you that may need a little extra in your Christmas stocking for whatever reason. So hopefully my Christmas day shall be filled with the most important ingredient for me, love. Yes I shall thoroughly enjoy the children unwrapping their little presents, cooking the food and eating many a sweetie, but I know what special gift I shall enjoy unwrapping the most ;)

Don't they say love makes the world go round, well I think they are right.

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas filled with hope and love :)


  1. That sounds like a tough time you've had lately. So glad to hear you have a mended heart and all is well again. I hope you have a very enjoyable Christmas from here on in. Love to you and your family. Sarah xxx

  2. Thanks Mary for giving a sprinkling of extra love to us in our stockings this Christmas! I hope you have a lovely time with your family over the next couple of weeks! Love and wishes Vanessa xxxx

  3. i know what you mean i have wanted to feel my home with christmas cheer and baking but im on the bed rest again!i have learnt my lesson this time tho!!not to take on or do too much.
    i certainly dont have a perfect relationship but my dear Blair has been a tower of strength to me over another trying and scary time and taken all responsibilties,sometimes its just easy to let other things get in the way isnt so pleased to hear your "through the other side"!


  4. Glad to hear that you have put some tough times behind you and realised how strong your lovely marriage is. I think this time of year is really hard. There is so much preassure on peple to have the "perfect" christmas in the "perfect" house with the perfect family and cooking that "perfect" meal. Last year we spent Christmas as our little family at home and had a really nice meal that I had prepared. Unfortunately in all of this the children were forgotten slightly. They wanted help to play with their new presents but the crucial moment in the cooking stopped us from helping. The children weren't that bothered by the meal although my husband and I enjoyed it. Really we should have had pizza and saved the special meal for another time. This year my husbands parents and Nan are coming. I am also going to do most of the preparations the night before.
    Lovely hearts you have, what a special collection.
    LOL about the hot tub. As if I have time for one. Our friends have hired one and are thinking of buying one so we went round for a play.
    Enjoy your week. Tiz a great week for the children. There are some lovely films and stories. Our scissors are coming out this week as is the sledge.
    Enjoy the love.
    Rachael XX

  5. My darling I wish you and yours all the joy, love, hope, blessings, peace, laughter, miracles, good health and boundless wealth during this holiday season and always.

    Love & Hugs

  6. What a nice post. I think real true love is having tough times and surviving them. We have been together forever and Mr Twigs is my rock but it isn't always easy, he's been there for me in my darkest moments and that to me is LOVE. I'm glad you have got through your tough times.
    Forget all the domestic goddess stuff, I haven't done that much due to us all being ill but who cares. Love is the important factor not home made cakes :) Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year
    Twiggy x

  7. Hello Mary , wishing you a wonderful Christmas, and that you find some hope and love in your stocking too.
    Bertie x

  8. tbh i am exactly the same i panic everytime i venture to the bathroom for fear of what i am going to find,i think its just because its happening so frequently now thats making it so much worse.
    and everytime i go into see a nurse etc they mention the M word more than anything positive!
    ever since it began for me i have heard lots of women say that its something that they have experienced and its not the rare thing that people and books make it out to be.but you tend to forget those things when its "started again"though im sorry that you had to go through it too im really comforted by your message.

  9. Hi Mary,

    What a lovely post. And very true. We have had the most awful year and it has been a small miracle that we have (hopefully) came out of it on the other side. I hope stronger and with a better understanding of each other. I know that the coming year will have its difficulties as we have to deal with people in our lives that are determined to make us miserable. But hey ho to that.

    I have done a few bit for our christmas but nothing to the extent that I dream of in the run up! and i still have one pressie to make gulp. But if I get it done great if not no big deal the girls will have something special in the new year made by me. I am very much looking forward to another cosy quite family christmas. Just me and my husband and our lovely girls. We are seeing my family a few day after the main event but we are not doing much. Just taking a big deep breath and saying ............. Now Breathe!

    Hope you have lots of love sprinkled with christmas magic. Merry christmas to all at the Mary Poppins house. From us all at the Boo Bear shed!


  10. I love this post most of all. Love is what feeds me. It fills my soul with joy and happiness and I could not imagine my life without MadDad in it. I am glad that we work hard at our married, as you must do yours, so I never become complacent with the man in my life

  11. Hi hun.....sorry you've been feeling low lately with things. I just wanted to share something about my life this year to know that you're not alone....
    This year has been the toughest EVER!
    My husband is finally recovering from severe depression over the last three years that has put a huge strain on our marriage.
    On top of that my mum died in July, my dad died in Oct and I am now my sister's legal guardian (she is 42) as she has many learning difficulties.
    I suffer from Fibromyalgia which has got so bad this year I lost my full time job and had to be relocated.... in Oct some lovely lady crashed her car into mine! I ended taking a month off work with exhaustion until two weeks ago. Like you I normally bake, craft, make homemade goodies for everyone and try and have a 'Kirsty Homemade Xmas' BUT this year I haven't managed to write my cards yet, have only just put our tree up yesterday and have just thought about writing a christmas shopping list!!!
    In amongst ALL of this I consider myself very lucky as I have LOTS of love all around me helping me thro' each day. Things may not be rosy with my hubby but life is never rosy and I don't believe anyone who says it is....I'm a good enough mum, a good enough friend, have a good enough family with a good enough marriage.
    That's good enough for me....enjoy each day as it comes hun...sending lots of christmas hugs across cyberspace!
    If you have five mins drop by and say hello
    Take care of yourself hun
    karen x x x

  12. very well put Mary xxx
    we have had the most hideous 7 days. The actions of 2 seperate people are affecting our little family and I have no control to stop it...but my dh is the one constant, without his love I think I would have been tipped well over the edge this week :( and our marriage is certainly not perfect!! But we try and we love. So it works xx
    I hope you and your beautiful family have a fabulous christmas, filled with everything you want xx

  13. My Pause in Advent post was on love as well today Mary and I can relate to what you say so much. We've had a lot of traumatic ups and downs over the years, but I know for sure that we have a really strong marriage as a result of it. If you haven't got love what else is there?

  14. A wonderful post Mary ... sending big hugs ... and ... LOVE

  15. Such a lovely post makes all things come good....xxxxx


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