It is someone very special's 4th birthday, yet sadly, he is not with us and I miss him so very much. He was my son, born so very prematurely, who hung on so very well, but was too small and too weak. He was born weighing 1lb 9ozs.
Life of course goes on, and time is a healer and I am truly blessed and lucky that 14 months later I had the most gorgeous and precious little boy, who, even after being born 11 weeks early and weighing 3 lbs, is here safe, well, and the love I have for him astounds me at times.
I do however sometimes find it hard to come to terms with the fact that my most sweet little baby, with 10 perfect little fingers and 10 perfect little toes, I shall never see grow up. Have no idea what he would look like, won't see him go to school, get married or have a loving family of his own. It is the hopes and dreams of eagerly looking forward to bringing a new member of the family into your life and then, for those hopes and dreams to be so cruelly snatched away, hurts.
The sun is so very bright and happy and I know he is here watching over us, proud of his big sister who coped so well, and gave him the most precious cuddle a sister could give her brother. Proud of his so very special little brother. We are going to have a happy day, and I am going to enjoy every precious moment with my children. Mr. Poppins has taken the day off work, it is Miss. Poppins sports day and we are going to have a special tea with cake, Mmmmm yummy :)
I always remind myself how lucky we were to have him, to hold him, to see him, that is something I shall forever treasure :)