Monday, 13 October 2008

What Makes A Good Wife....

Please tell me what makes a good wife, I feel I could do with a few tips. You may or may not know that Darling Husband may have been made redundant, he found out a few days ago that for now his job is safe, although many of his friends and colleagues have not been so lucky.

There have been many tears this weekend mainly mine and Darling Husband has quite rightly pointed out that I have been more bothered about wallpaper and china and pretty things when he has been so worried that he may not even be able to keep a roof over our heads. It really is a wake up call to me and made me wonder how many of you really talk and communicate with your other halves, I had no idea how the man I have been married to for nearly nine years was truly feeling and maybe I have been taking Darling Husband for granted, I don't work although I feel ready now to maybe go back, I get fed, clothed as do my children, and I am very lucky to be able to have a life like this.

Darling Husband has finally opened up to me about how he feels and how I make him feel and yes I can understand that I probably have not been a very good wife, but I am glad now that we have had that very important chat and now we can hopefully move forward in our marriage and hopefully I won't be spending so much money :)

Would you like to see Home sweet Home and her little roof.

Yes you really can see daylight, when I show you the same space next time hopefully there shall be a little chintzy dormer bathroom, we are having a pitched roof and cream rendering. So hurry up building men, well one builder and Darling Husband, I need the loo.

Take Care



  1. You are a good wife!
    Marriage is a partnershop, give and take....sometimes tho ppl get busy with things and important chats get overlooked....Olly and i chat things over in the car, when we can't escape from each other and be distracted by the pooter and household jobs....we never go to bed on a quarrel and we say what we feel, even if its painful...all marriages and partenerships go thru tough times...but there is no better reason to be together than WANTING to be together...thats the secret!
    Olly is my best friend he never throws stuff back in my face and knows how to laugh me out of a mood...bless him!
    Don't worry about it...your cool!

    P.S still on for Thurs??
    I'll totally understand if you want to take a raincheck....

  2. Cool!
    Will be nice to meet you....and lesley!
    We will be very good and not go mad spending!
    We can restrain each other!lol!

  3. Mary, I know exactly what you are going through as my hubby is going through the same thing, he works for the one of the banks in the headlines at mo so his job is also uncertain. What ever life throws at you, you and hubby will get through it. Most men are the same and will not admit their feelings until they cant take any more, mine is one of them! Of course you are a fantastic wife and dont you forget it!! Claire x

  4. It is hard to still be a "couple" and talk the same way once you have children - we tend to just get on and get through the days and forget about "us" sometimes so this is a good reminder to make time for hubbys everywhere :-) the fact that you are concerned about him now is being a good wife :-) look forward to thursday - we can window shop thats nearly as good :-D , Lesley x

  5. HI Mary :-)
    Jacob's bed is really good i am pleased with it mainly because of the extension facility ! we have it with just one of the extra sections in at the moment and it fits perfectly between the wall and the end of his wardrobe which saved me having to move the wardrobe thankfully as v heavy! at that length it should last for ages as i could sleep in it! although I am quite short (5'2") but shouldnt need the extra section for some years to come!
    i did worry about it maybe being a bit girly and maybe should have got the black but he likes it and he has new bedding on this week which helps (will post some pics in the week as part of my ordinary stuff). Hope that waffle was all useful!
    Lesley x

  6. Mary, i understand how you feel Honey, one thing i wish i had done many many many years ago is talk, and talk as much as you can to each other, and talk about everything, the good stuff as well as the bad.
    If you know what the other is feeling it makes your relationshop [lol] work better, and resentment will not rear its ugly head.
    The fact that you love your husband and children is the sign of a good wife, the fact that you want your family to have the very best is the sign of a good wife.
    There are many husbands and wives out in this big wide world who are no longer together because they dont care enough about each other to know each other.iyswim.
    Dont you worry Honey, you are what most men long for a loving gentle caring wife and mother.
    Bless you Mwah X x X x X x X x X x X

  7. Lol, Yeah when you see her tell her i want Breckie in bed every morning and lots of chocolate and cake and stuff..........

    X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X

  8. Hi Mary
    I think your love for life, and your family, and your hubbie shines through your blog. You'll get through the tough times - we all have them, and goodness knows it is difficult at the mo with all the uncertainty around. We all question our 'goodness', as wives, mothers, sisters, and so on, but most of us do the best we can, and we are always learning how to do it better, it seems to me. Hugs. xxx

  9. Hi :-) just take random pics during the day : breakfast, cleaning, shopping, out and about, etc etc its really just about capturing the normal bits of your day rather than "staged" pics which can just show the nice bits!
    Lesley x

  10. Of course you're a good wife, by writing such a sensitive post as this shows it. It is hard with children and work to talk as much as we would like, life just gets in the way, but I have learnt, just like you, that sometimes it is good to sit down and have one of those heart to hearts. Take care, hope you get your loo!
    Thanks for all your lovely comments on my blog

  11. Mary you read my mind...i was thinking the same strange!x
    Yes that is a lovely idea!

  12. Just wrapped them in some pretty paper! this is such fun!xxx
    I've made them myself....

  13. LOL....i began making them last week, so you guys get the first batch! woohoo!
    Just something very simple and homemade....had to use my friends sewing machine....really NEED to get either a new one or get mine fixed!
    Do you think it will be smart cas....? I was thinking smart jeans n my Boden coat and my red shoes...oh and my Stanley bag...i want to feel like me...if you get what i mean....?xx

  14. Im so glad you have recieved them, have fun tonight with the other girls! claire x

  15. Hi Mary
    I think that everyone can sympathise with what you said. Sometimes life does take over and sometimes we spend so much time trying to make our home nice for our loved ones, that we forget to make time for them! You are a lovely perso and its clear how much love that you have for your family x

  16. Lovely idea about the "Swop" i will bring a little something as well although prob not hand made im not the most talented of people in that area ! Lesley x

  17. We had the near miss redundancies back in about 2000. We were given two months once and it didn't happen. Lots of other scares. It actually did happen in the end when we least expected it, and threats in the new job he got. Then he went back to teaching and in the contract it ran out but then he got permanent work. The factory before teaching had become reasonably safe but we didn't want to have to worry anymore.

    I was worried about the mortgage we had taken on. But I haven't heard my husband speak like yours. I felt shaken and remember going to the supermarket some mornings in a state and some people noticed my face. I found the less we spoke about it, except maybe at home, the better I could handle it in general.

    It got better of course. Our doctor once suggested maybe we shouldn't work in those places and that I was tough because I hadn't cried.

    I regret now that I am settled not being able to enjoy the things you like doing. I think they are important too.

  18. Thanks so much for your lovely comment about my pregnancy.

    I'm not sure that I can answer the 'wife' question as I'm not sure whether I'm a good one or not. My view is that you are looking after your children and your home and that makes you a good wife straight away. I think Mr Poppins was a bit harsh on you. If he hadn't told you of his worries, and was carrying on as normal, then you are going to do the same. It doesn't surprise me that you think a lot about wallpaper and china etc as you are making a lovely home. I'm sure that you're the one doing food shopping, home shopping, kiddie clothes shopping, and probably the Xmas shopping for everyone. Of course you're going to think about shopping! Anyway, marriage is a two way thing like Mel says and Mr Poppins must make sure that you're aware of his worries and then you can adjust to them if necessary. I think the building work probably isn't helping. When we had a second floor put on this house I thought hubby was going to have a nervous breakdown!

  19. See you later....i'll be there about 7.30ish.....heehheheheh...such fun!

  20. hi there - just emailed mel but it will be nearer to 8 when i get there as hubby coming back from scotland - please wait for me :-)

  21. Hi Mary...Lesley is going to be getting there nearer to 8pm....hubbie on way back from Scotland! shall we say 7.45?
    hope this is ok??
    Just popping to Didsbury now!

  22. That sounds exciting!
    I've wrapped you each a parcel...and made tags to go on them....hope you like them.....It really is quite exciting!

  23. Hello!
    Your very welcome....i had a lovely time thank you so much!
    I'm so wanting to open the gifts, but i'm going to wait and take my time tomorrow....they also look to pretty to pull apart....such a lovely bag and paper, a lot of thought went into that Mary.
    Yourself and Lesley are both wonderful!
    I would love to meet up again maybe for a coffee and cake or something like that, i have to stay you would be both welcome to my home anytime you want....I'm going to open my email tomorrow feel free to send me a message.....would be lovely to catch up with you between blogs...tho i know your very busy...
    Big hug and smailes

    P.S...i do think you look like Julie Andrews(when she played MP) yes Mary Poppins is a fitting blogname! Your so pretty!

  24. what a fun evening and i ended with 2 goodie bags im not sure how that happened! we must do it again very soon! your such a lovely person im so glad I met you both :-)hopefully i will not be on the verge of losing my voice next time !
    Lesley x

  25. I too know how you feel!
    I think many of us do!
    I always feel gilty for asking DH for money... so I can go and spend it on not so necessary things!
    Hung on in there... Keep the faith and everything will turn okay!
    Debbie Moss


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